...have I ever told you what the key difference between human and demon emotions is?
[He's probably explained it in brief detail here and there, but he'll go ahead and explain anyway--]
Unlike humans, who live short lives and change rapidly throughout-- demons seldom change. We are who we are upon "birth" and remain as such until "death". Though more sophisticated demons like myself are capable of growth, "change" is still something we struggle with. I myself am an extreme example. As the concept of time itself, I am the same person at every point of time. The "me" who existed in the dark ages is still very much the "me" that exists in the modern era. My thoughts and feelings rarely change. And while that may not entirely be the case any more-- even though time flows in only one direction for me, the core of who I am and how I feel will never change.
[He reaches down and takes Chuuya's face in his hands.]
I cannot say for certain whether or not what I feel for you now is what a human would consider to be "love". But I can say with absolutely certainty that when I lose you, I shall grieve for you until the end of time.
[The weight of a demon's love was heavy. Even more so for an immortal demon, cursed to be alone at the end of the universe.]
[But it's not a sad thing to Mephisto. Instead, he says all of this with a smile -- as if the thought of having had someone so important that they would weigh on his mind for all time was among the greatest joys he could ever possibly have.]
Perhaps not in a hundred years... nor even five hundred. Thousands of years could pass-- and one day, I'll suddenly be struck by the thought of you and the time we spent together. And my heart will ache with a desire to hold you in my arms once more.
[He thinks Mephisto has mentioned it several times before, and Chuuya had suspected that demons feel things differently for a while now, but having it all laid out on the table like this clears things up tremendously. He’s silent as he listens, because more than anything else he wants to be able to understand his master. Loving someone without understanding who they are is beyond foolish, after all, even if it’s hard to believe that the Mephisto now is fundamentally the same as the demon child who’d caused Chuuya such grief...
But that doesn’t stop Chuuya from loving him, and that’s why he tears up just a little when he hears that Mephisto will mourn him until the end of time. It’s beautifully tragic, and he really can’t hope to hide his emotions when Mephisto is holding his face like this...]
You mean...you don’t mind if I can’t stay with you forever?
[Wouldn’t it be far less painful to spare himself the grief of having loved and lost? But then having such happy memories to accompany him at the end of the world may very well be worth it.
By the time Mephisto finishes what he has to say Chuuya is crying...and blushing, and just generally feeling overwhelmed with emotion. That’s as close to an “I love you” without saying the actual words as Chuuya has ever heard, and he’s incredibly happy and touched that it comes out in the form of tears. They are, however, tinged with just a hint of sadness at the idea of his master being all alone one day...]
Maybe I’ll find a way to live forever. Then it won’t be a problem.
[He knows that’s not gonna happen, but if he tries to say anything sappy he’s gonna burst into sobs or something even more embarrassing.
But he’s gotta say something to express how much those words mean to him...]
It...means a lot to hear that.
[Nailed it.]
I thought I’d die without ever knowing what it felt like to be missed, so. Good to know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He's probably explained it in brief detail here and there, but he'll go ahead and explain anyway--]
Unlike humans, who live short lives and change rapidly throughout-- demons seldom change. We are who we are upon "birth" and remain as such until "death". Though more sophisticated demons like myself are capable of growth, "change" is still something we struggle with. I myself am an extreme example. As the concept of time itself, I am the same person at every point of time. The "me" who existed in the dark ages is still very much the "me" that exists in the modern era. My thoughts and feelings rarely change. And while that may not entirely be the case any more-- even though time flows in only one direction for me, the core of who I am and how I feel will never change.
[He reaches down and takes Chuuya's face in his hands.]
I cannot say for certain whether or not what I feel for you now is what a human would consider to be "love". But I can say with absolutely certainty that when I lose you, I shall grieve for you until the end of time.
[The weight of a demon's love was heavy. Even more so for an immortal demon, cursed to be alone at the end of the universe.]
[But it's not a sad thing to Mephisto. Instead, he says all of this with a smile -- as if the thought of having had someone so important that they would weigh on his mind for all time was among the greatest joys he could ever possibly have.]
Perhaps not in a hundred years... nor even five hundred. Thousands of years could pass-- and one day, I'll suddenly be struck by the thought of you and the time we spent together. And my heart will ache with a desire to hold you in my arms once more.
no subject
[He thinks Mephisto has mentioned it several times before, and Chuuya had suspected that demons feel things differently for a while now, but having it all laid out on the table like this clears things up tremendously. He’s silent as he listens, because more than anything else he wants to be able to understand his master. Loving someone without understanding who they are is beyond foolish, after all, even if it’s hard to believe that the Mephisto now is fundamentally the same as the demon child who’d caused Chuuya such grief...
But that doesn’t stop Chuuya from loving him, and that’s why he tears up just a little when he hears that Mephisto will mourn him until the end of time. It’s beautifully tragic, and he really can’t hope to hide his emotions when Mephisto is holding his face like this...]
You mean...you don’t mind if I can’t stay with you forever?
[Wouldn’t it be far less painful to spare himself the grief of having loved and lost? But then having such happy memories to accompany him at the end of the world may very well be worth it.
By the time Mephisto finishes what he has to say Chuuya is crying...and blushing, and just generally feeling overwhelmed with emotion. That’s as close to an “I love you” without saying the actual words as Chuuya has ever heard, and he’s incredibly happy and touched that it comes out in the form of tears. They are, however, tinged with just a hint of sadness at the idea of his master being all alone one day...]
Maybe I’ll find a way to live forever. Then it won’t be a problem.
[He knows that’s not gonna happen, but if he tries to say anything sappy he’s gonna burst into sobs or something even more embarrassing.
But he’s gotta say something to express how much those words mean to him...]
It...means a lot to hear that.
[Nailed it.]
I thought I’d die without ever knowing what it felt like to be missed, so. Good to know.